Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Grand Theft Auto can be your reality too

Wow, I just know Jack Thompson would have had a lawyergasm over this: Man thinks he's living inside Grand Theft Auto.

A young man was admitted from prison to a psychiatric facility after reports that he had been acting in a bizarre manner. He had been arrested for stealing motor vehicles and assaults with weapons. At interview he was found to be experiencing the delusion that he was a player inside a computer game (adult-certificate game, widely available) in which points are scored for stealing cars, killing assailants and avoiding police vehicles. Psychotic symptoms had emerged slowly over two years.

Even though Jack Thompson is no longer allowed to practice law, you just know people will scream bloody murder over this and claiming that it proves the link between violent video games and violent behaviour.
Even though the aforementioned young man has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Paris Hilton in jail roundup

Since every damn celebrity website has been posting about this non-stop, and even FOX and CNN have bene broadcasting several hours of this stuff, I'd figure I'd jump on the bandwagon and post about the topic you all seem to love (but mostly hate):

Paris Hilton going to jail.


The following is a timeline of what happened during this whole ordeal. I'll try to be as complete and impartial as possible.

September 7th, 2006: Paris Hilton is arrested by the LAPD for DUI. The breath test showed 0.08 alcohol percentage, which is the minimum DUI level in California.

January 22th, 2007: Paris Hilton is sentenced to a 36 month probation for reckless driving. She loses her driving license and has to attend alcohol education, and pay fines totaling $1,450.

March, 2007: Paris Hilton's driving license is reinstated after a five-month ban. NOTE: this news is doubtful.

February 28th, 2007: Paris Hilton is arrested for misdemeanor driving with a suspended license, violating her probation. She was driving without her headlights on at night.

May 4th, 2007: Paris is sentenced to 45 days in county jail. She claimed to be unaware if her license was suspended, even though papers stating this were present in her car when she was arrested.

May 8th, 2007: It's probable the sentence will be reduced to 23 days for good behaviour, and possible it will be reduced even further due to cell shortage.

May 9th, 2007: Paris Hilton is spotted driving, four days after being sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating a driving ban.

May 10th, 2007: Two petitions appear, Free Paris Hilton and Jail Paris Hilton. 19,881 people have signed the petion to free Paris Hilton, 40,134 people signed the one to jail her.
At time of writing this (june 10th), the number are 31,966 signatures to free Paris, 89,962 signatures to jail her. None of the signatures on the 'Free Paris Hilton' petition list a name or comment, whereas almost all signatures on the 'Jail Paris Hilton' do.

May 17th, 2007: Paris will serve her time in jail in a 'special needs housing unit' reserved for high-profile inmates. She will be allowed outside one hour daily.

May 22nd, 2007: Paris Hilton is spotted carrying around a Bible.

June 1st, 2007: Three days before her sentence will begin, it becomes known that Paris has ordered a make-up team to meet her next monday to make her look her best when she checks into jail.

June 3rd, 2007: At the MTV movie awards, comedienne Sarah Silverman openly mocks Paris Hilton, saying 'the prison guards will replace the bars with penises to make her feel more comfortable'. Paris wasn't amused.

June 4th, 2007: Paris Hilton checks into L.A. county jail 'Twin Towers' to start sitting out her 45-day sentence. She is quoted as saying 'This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. [..] Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence'.

June 7th, 2007: After 72 hours, Paris Hilton is released from jail due to 'medical reasons'. She has been fitted with an ankle bracelet and will serve the remaining 40 days in house arrest, according to Los Angeles County Sheriff's Dept. spokesperson Steve Whitmore.
Later that day, law enforcement sources state that the 'medical condition' is purely psychological and that Paris Hilton was on a verge of a nervous breakdown. Sheriff Lee Baca gave the final approval for springing Paris out of jail.
It's rumoured that a van with party supplies was sighted at the Hilton mansion just after Paris got home. [source needed]

June 8th, 2007: Judge Michael Sauer orders Paris Hilton back to jail after it became apparent that Sheriff Lee Baca did not even have the authority to release her from jail. The judge even specifically ruled that Paris was not allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail.
Paris was initially not present during the ruling, and wanted to attend by phone, but was picked up by the LAPD in handcuffs after this was ordered by judge Michael Sauer.
Paris Hilton was in hysterics after the ruling, shouting 'It's not right!' and literally crying for her mother who was present during the court.
Lastly, a dubious source reported that Paris was initially released from prison because she had a stress-induced herpes outbreak that had 'spread to her anus and had taken on abcess-like features that required more serious medical attention'.

Finally, because it is easily the most awesome thing that came out of this whole ordeal, here is the picture that was snapped after Paris was handcuffed, being excorted back to the courtroom where she heard she had to go back to jail.



And now, I FINALLY hope to hear nothing more from this parisite for the next three weeks. For crying out loud, these last few days she's had more publicity on high-profile news stations than the September 11th attacks did in 2001.

---

UPDATE: June 10th, 2007: Paris didn't eat or drink in the past three days, afraid of going to the bathroom - a prison guard may take pictures/videos and put them on the internet.

LAST UPDATE: June 26th, 2007: Paris was released from prison and has shown what was most likely her first genuine smile ever:

Smile, Paris.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

StarForce and Trackmania Nations

If you play Trackmania Nations, this may be relevant to you. If not, you probably won't care.

Trackmania Nations ESCW is a free racing game that is part of games of the yearly Electronic Sports World Cup (ESCW). It's lots of fun to play on the online servers, and it's free. If you have ever played Stunts, you will love Trackmania.

Trackmania Nations installs the very controversial StarForce copy protection system. The popular BoingBoing blog has had a lot of articles about this thing, and rightfully so. The above Wikipedia article as well as this BoingBoing article mentions that the Starforce copy protection software degraded IDE transfer speeds to the point where it physically breaks CD/DVD drives.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, because today I wanted to play some Trackmania and there was an update available. Specifically, an update that upgraded Trackmania from version 1.7.8 to 1.7.9. After I installed it, when I wanted to re-benchmark my system to configure the graphics settings, I saw this pop up:

Starforce protection system

Some Googling showed that this was, in fact, the Starforce protection system. While I was aware that older versions of Trackmania Nations had the Starforce protection software bundled but only actually installed it when it was already on your system, this update makes the Starforce drivers MANDATORY. It installs them without asking or informing you, silently. Things like this REALLY tick me off.
A bit of uninstalling/reinstalling showed me that all updates for Trackmania Nations trigger or require the Starforce install. Only the original version (1.7.5) does not come with Starforce, and attempting to play online with this version will get you disconnected from the server with a message telling you to upgrade.

Recap:

  • Trackmania Nations is a free game
  • Trackmania Nations has copy protection software installed called Starforce
  • Starforce installs itself at ring 0 in the Windows architecture, the same level used by antivirus software, firewalls and several other copy-protection systems.
  • Up to Trackmania Nations 1.7.6, Starforce was bundled with the installer but not actually installed. Unless you already had it on your system.
  • Starting with Trackmania 1.7.9, Starforce is always installed.
  • Starforce is not mentioned in the Trackmania Nations EULA
  • Starforce is not mentioned in the installer
  • Starforce installation is not visible
  • Starforce cannot be uninstalled from the Add/Remove Software applet
  • Starforce can physically break CD/DVD drives
  • The people who work for Starforce are abusive assholes [1] [2]

How do you know if you have Starforce on your system? Easy. Go to Start > Settings > Control Panel > System > Hardware > Device Manager. In the Device Manager, select View > Show hidden devices from the menu. Scroll down to Non-Plug and Play devices and look for the three Starforce items.

Starforce devices

A Starforce uninstaller can be found here:
http://www.onlinesecurity-on.com/protect.phtml?c=55

Why does a free game even have copy-protection software bundled? There are a few other versions of Trackmania that are not free (the original, 'Sunrise', and 'United') so I understand if that needs some kind of copy protection. But the free version? Well, it seems this is to prevent people from cheating at the ESCW tournaments. Which obviously take place in controlled environments where candidates are immediately disqualified for cheating. Huh?
This is all very disappointing. I have had a lot of fun with Trackmania, but I have now uninstalled and deleted it because of this Starforce mess. It was fun while it lasted.




UPDATE: July 2nd - It seems the StarForce drivers were removed from Trackmania: United. This makes me very happy.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Best programming language ever: LOLcode

An exciting new programming language has become available:
lolcode.com.

It is obvious from the examples that this is the best language ever:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
UP VAR!!1
VISIBLE VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHXBYE
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

I'd love to use this at work but I'd probably be fired for rolling out of my chair every five minutes, laughing at my own code.

Friday, May 18, 2007

How to be a pirate

Today BoingBoing linked me to an excellent post on a topic that must be of interest to nearly everyone:

The Essential Guide to Piracy.

Yarrrrr.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Creationists are really, really, really fucking stupid

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:

The most retarded creationist argument against evolution ever!





Note: this is not an April Fools' joke. It was published March 30, 2007.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Wench, fetch me my cape!

It takes style to ridicule bloggers like Randall Munroe did about a week ago on his XKCD comic.

It takes even more guts to take him up on his ridicule.

Well played, Cory Doctorow.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Converted Blag to GBlag

I just caved and converted my Blogger blog to the new Google format/layout/whatever, and as a result, was forced removed the 'valid xhtml 1.0' banner since the website isn't even REMOTELY valid anymore. Thanks a lot, Google.

[edit]
After some testing with the W3C Validator and different doctype declarations, I found that the ~800 validation errors are nearly ALL caused by Blogger not escaping its URLs properly (e.g. page.g?arg1=blah&arg2=blah), as well as using Javascript to write HTML tags to each page. Until Google fixes these two problems, it is impossible to get your blog to validate since no doctype declaration allows for unescaped URLs. <:-[

Friday, February 09, 2007

Papa's got a brand new Wiiiii

Oh man, I'm gonna be so popular.

I order a Wii, bitches

Note to other people in NL: Wii's are not yet sold out in Germany! :D

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Short & Sweet

Short post:

One: Jack Thompson may not be a lawyer for very long anymore. Long blog post on GamePolitics. Jack faces five counts of professional misconduct, three of which are related to his ongoing campaign against violent video games. Thompson faces the possibility of disciplinary action up to and including disbarment.

I'm surprised it took so long before court did something about this ass-clown. It was fun laughing at him while it lasted, though.


Two: Best Penny-Arcade comic in a while! Federal Bureau of Taking All Your Shit

Bonus!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Complete Idiot's Guide to WAMP

So, you got it in your head for some reason that you want to run a webserver on your Windows machine? With PHP, MySQL and all that fancy jazz? Well so did I, so I wrote this little guide after mucking about for two days, following various guides that didn't work, were incomplete, incorrect or outdated.

If you're like me, you have been using one of the preconfigured packages, like EasyPHP or XAMPP. The problem is, after using that for about a year, new versions of PHP, Apache and MySQL popped up left and right. And new versions of those handy packages don't come out overnight. Lucky for you, it's possible to download the components separately, mash it all together and have it come out a working WAMP server!

The following howto is a guide helping you on your way with setting up Apache 2.2, PHP 5 and MySQL 5.0 on a Windows XP machine. Windows 2000 or newer works as well, Windows 98/ME will NOT (stick with Apache 1.3 for those). I tried to make it as detailed as possible without including screenshots of each step in the install process and adding 'click Next on this screen'.

Get the software

First, you'll need to download everything so you can install everything in one big swoop.
  • Apache 2.2 - the actual webserver. Select a mirror, then click the link for Win32 Binary (MSI Installer).
  • PHP 5 - the scripting language that will be the middle man between Apache and the MySQL database. Click the link for PHP 5.2.0 zip package (the installer does not have all extensions).
  • MySQL 5 - the database software. Click on 'MySQL Community Server', then click 'Select a mirror' for Windows (x86) ZIP/Setup.EXE. Skip past the form and click one of the HTTP links for a mirror close to your location.
  • phpMyAdmin - a PHP 'program' that allows you to configure MySQL. You could use the commandline programs that come with MySQL, but this is way easier. Click the link for english.zip.

IMPORTANT: If you plan on doing ANY kindof IP-based filtering in Apache, or use PHP for any kind of IP-based verification (with $_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR']), do NOT get Apache v2.2.4!! There is a bug in this Apache version together with PHP 5 that makes it return 0.0.0.0 instead of the correct IP. This bug also affects any kind of IP address filtering with allow/deny in httpd.conf/.htaccess. Get Apache v2.2.3 instead, it works fine and does not have this bug.

Install everything

This is dead easy. Follow my lead.

Base directory: to keep things together, you might want to create a central folder where you're going to put everything. Preferably without spaces in the name. I chose to make C:\WAMP. If you prefer something else, substitute your path wherever it says C:\WAMP in the below steps.

Apache: Open the MSI installer file and click through the screens. Accept all the default settings until you reach the Destination Folder, where you will change it to C:\WAMP\Apache. If all goes well, you should be seeing a little Apache feather with a green icon in the system tray:

The Apache Monitor in the system tray
This is the Apache Service Monitor, which keeps an eye on the Apache process itself. It's handy for controlling Apache, but if you like, you can shut down the monitor without closing Apache itself.
Now go to http://localhost. If you get the message below, you did everything right.

It works!

PHP: Open the PHP install zip and extract everything to C:\WAMP\PHP. Make sure all the subdirectories are created.

PHP directory

MySQL: Open the MySQL install zip and double-click the Setup.exe file inside to start it. Pick the Custom install, then change the install path to C:\WAMP\MySQL. Let it install MySQL, skip the 'MySQL.com Sign-Up' and continue to configuring the MySQL server.
At the screen for 'default character set', select your best option.
At the screen for 'set security options', enter a root password.
Everywhere else, accept the default setting. Click Execute at the end to configure the MySQL server and you're done!

phpMyAdmin: Open the phpMyAdmin install zip and extract everything to C:\WAMP\Apache\htdocs. Make sure all the subdirectories are created. Open the install folder and rename the long-ass phpMyAdmin-2.x.x-english directory to pma.

phpMyAdmin directory

You now have four separate pieces of software installed! Next up: tieing everything together into a neat WAMP package.

Configuring

If you did everything correctly, Apache is already up and running. Now all we need to do is:
  1. Make Apache understand PHP
  2. Make PHP understand MySQL
  3. Make Apache understand MSQL
  4. Configure phpMyAdmin
Sounds easy? Well it's not really all that easy, but that's what this guide is for.

Step 1:

Find the file C:\WAMP\Apache\conf\httpd.conf and open it in Notepad (or whatever you prefer).

Find the section with all the LoadModule lines, and add this one to the bottom:
LoadModule php5_module "c:/WAMP/php/php5apache2_2.dll" (note: use forward slashes)
This makes Apache load the PHP module.

Next, find the line that starts with DirectoryIndex. Change it so it reads:
DirectoryIndex index.php index.html
This makes Apache understand index.php (default) files.

Now find the section with the AddType lines. Add these two:
AddType application/x-httpd-php .php .phtml .inc .php3
AddType application/x-httpd-php-source .phps

This makes Apache know what to do with the .php filetype.

Save the file and close it.
Next, go back to your C:\WAMP\PHP directory and do this:
  • Copy the php5ts.dll file to C:\WAMP\Apache\bin.
  • Copy the php.ini-recommended file to C:\WAMP\Apache.
  • Rename the file to php.ini.

The copied PHP.ini file

Open the php.ini file in Notepad, and change this line:
short_open_tag = Off
to:
short_open_tag = On
This allows for writing php using the short <? .. ?> tags.

While you're at it, change this line:
;session.save_path = "/tmp"
to:
session.save_path = "c:\windows\temp" (or wherever your temp folder is)
This lets PHP know where to store sessions.

Double-click the Apache icon in the system tray and click Restart to make Apache read the new configuration. Apache is now configured to understand PHP!

To test this, create C:\WAMP\Apache\htdocs\index.php. Then open it in Notepad and type <?phpinfo()?>. Save the file and close it.
Go back to http://localhost and refresh. If you see a boatload of PHP information, you did it!

phpinfo() demo

Step 2:

Now the next part is adding MySQL support to PHP.

Find the file C:\WAMP\Apache\php.ini and open it. Find the line:
extension_dir = "./"
and change it to:
extension_dir = "C:\WAMP\PHP\ext"
This lets Apache know where to find the MySQL extension for PHP.

Find the line:
;extension=php_mbstring.dll
and change it to:
extension=php_mbstring.dll
This loads the multi-byte string extension so phpMyAdmin can handle strings correctly.

Find the line:
;extension=php_mysql.dll
and change it to:
extension=php_mysql.dll
extension=php_mysqli.dll

This lets Apache load the two MySQL extensions from the PHP extension directory.

Save the file and close it. PHP is now configured to use MySQL!

Step 3:

All you need to do now is make Apache load MySQL. Easy enough!
Find the file:
C:\WAMP\MySQL\bin\libmySQL.dll
Copy it to:
C:\WAMP\Apache\bin\libmySQL.dll
This makes Apache load the MySQL library.

Go back to the Apache Service monitor again (double-click the icon in the system tray) and restart Apache once more to load all the new settings and libraries.

Step 4:

Now go to http://localhost/pma to load phpMyAdmin.
Since you haven't configured it yet, it can't access the MySQL database.

phpMyAdmin error screen

To do this:
  • Go to the C:\WAMP\Apache\htdocs\pma directory.
  • Rename the config.sample.inc.php file to config.inc.php.
  • Open the file in Notepad and find this line:
    $cfg['Servers'][$i]['auth_type'] = 'cookie';
  • Change it to:
    $cfg['Servers'][$i]['auth_type'] = 'config';
  • Below it, add this line:
    $cfg['Servers'][$i]['user'] = 'root';
  • Below that, add this line:
    $cfg['Servers'][$i]['password'] = 'your MySQL root password';
  • Find the line with controluser and delete the part pmauser between the quotes.
  • Find the line with controlpass and delete the part pmapass between the quotes.
  • Save the file and close it.
If you reload http://localhost/pma now, it should give you the main screen for phpMyAdmin.

phpMyAdmin main screen

You're done! Everything is setup now. Your WAMP server is finished!


Problems?

  • If you can't get to http://localhost, Apache isn't running. Go to Start > Run > services.msc, find Apache2 in the list and start it. If it's not in the list, reinstall Apache.
  • If Apache doesn't start, there is an error in the httpd.conf configuration file.
  • If no one can get to your webserver, make sure your firewall and/or router allows it.
  • Make sure you did everything correctly!

Monday, January 29, 2007

This is a Belgian virus. Please forward it to everyone and then delete all your files.

Today I received my first spam message to my private university email account. I haven't read spam messages in a long time, but this one caught my eye for two reasons. The full body of the spam was:

Good day,

Viazzgra $1, 80
Ciazzlis $3, 00
Levizztra $3, 35

http://www.printeryml.*com ( Important ! Remove "*" )

--
Dobby stood for a moment, quivering all over, horror-struck by his own daring then he rushed over to the nearest table and began banging his head on it very hard, squealing, Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!



First off, that URL is not even remotely valid. It includes an asterisk, and the message instructs the user to remove the asterisk before going to the address. That's INSANELY STUPID. A while back there was an email virus that evaded email scanners that blocked suspicious .zip files by sending .rar files with the payload. In a password-protected .rar file. So the spam message instructs the spammee with detailed instructions to save the file to disk, open it in WinRAR (which is not as commonly used as WinZip), extract the file, enter the password, find the extracted file, and then open it to launch the virus. Erm, I mean, porn movie. Whatever. Understandably, the virus was not very widespread.

Secondly, does anyone recognize the text at the bottom, cleverly intended to fool spamfilters into thinking it's not spam since it has full sentences?

Yes.

It's from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

I gotta say, spam is getting more Belgian every day.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Mr. Kers, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS DAS PARFUM

Just last night, I went to see the movie adaptation of Patrick Süskinds Das Parfum, named Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. Having read the book roughly ten years ago, I found that the movie was very true to the book. However, if you haven't read the book, some parts of the movie might not make much sense to you. I won't go into any of the details here (so no spoilers) but the gist of the story is about a boy named Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, who possesses an extraordinary sense of smell. After he discovers he has no smell of his own, he endeavors to create one, being the world's most perfect perfume. Throughout the book, he becomes more and more disgusted with mankind, isolating himself for years in a deserted cave before re-entering the world and learn about the technique that will enable him to create his perfect perfume.

I read this book when I was in highschool when I was about 16, and it impressed me in the same way that Spider-Man impresses me: he can do something that no one else can (except Tobey Maguire uses his skills for good). The story goes through different stages, and this makes for a very enthralling movie. Even moreso than the book.
However, when it was time for my book exams, surprise surprise, my German teacher did not just touch upon this book, he dived into it. And took me with him. Apparently, there was a deeper meaning to the story that I had not understood. That I had completely missed, even. Instead of focusing on the several books of Kafka (and reviews, and documentaries) that I had read like I expected, he completely teared me apart of some bullshit allegory that was hidden in the Perfume book. Supposedly the entire thing was somehow an allegory for a teen growing up in puberty, going through several stages of mental maturity, blah blah blah. I failed the book exam very, very thoroughly. (On the other hand, I completely aced the written national exams, balancing my grade out nicely.)

So as you can expect, I was very anxious to see if anyone else could see the hidden meaning of the story after it was made into a movie. Surely, the movie critics know a lot about the stories movies tell, and their deeper meaning? Those guys, who have seen hundreds of movies, will see the hidden meaning of Perfume within a minute? Right??

No.

I have looked at every movie critic's review I could find. I have read all of them very thoroughly, skipping over the parts that praise Tom Tykwer for making a great costume drama with the budget he had, praising the beautiful close-ups of the murdered girls, and the performance of the lead characters, Ben Whiskaw and Alan Rickman. I even read the Wikipedia pages about the book and the movie, and the story's deeper meaning is mentioned NOWHERE. It's not there. I really doubt all the movie critics, as well as myself, can be wrong. It's not there.

So it is with absolute great pleasure that I can finally say, after ten years, to my old German teacher:

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS DAS PARFUM.
THERE IS NO HIDDEN MEANING IN THE BOOK.
STOP ASKING YOUR STUDENTS ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT IS BULLSHIT.
FUCK. YOU.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Ballmer: Linux is infringing on Microsoft's IP

Steve Ballmer, the man up top at Microsoft whom you all know (monkeyboy dance, developers, Google chair toss), says that Linux users infringe upon Microsoft's intellectual property and that the only Linux distribution that is legal in his eyes is SUSE Linux, owned by Novell, which has payed $40 million to Microsoft, in return for Microsoft's promise not to sue SUSE or Novell later on for patent infringement. Actually, Novell paid this only after Microsoft gave Novell $440 million for service coupons. Ballmer says Microsoft is willing to make the same $40 million deal with other Linux distributions.

What the hell? IP infringement? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Just because the graphical interface of Linux also has Windows, buttons and a taskbar does not mean it's stolen from Microsoft. Unix and even Xerox have had this for decades. Microsoft in no way holds the patent to a WIMP interface. If that is even the part(s) of Linux that Ballmer is talking about. It's nowhere to be found what parts actually constitute the patent infringements.

Not surprisingly, the Linux community has responded furiously.
RedHat asked Ballmer to reveal what parts of Linux are infringing, so that they may remove or workaround the patent infringement.

The Samba group asked Novell to reconsider and undo the settlement, citing obligations to the open source community. Samba also mentioned that this deal is a GPL violation.

Novell says that the $40 million deal has nothing to do with settlements for patent infringements.

Linux users themselves are just laughing about this.

This could be fun. I'd like to hear Ballmer get all worked up and blurt out that Linux is illegal, except for the ones that paid him off. This is like the SCO lawsuits all over again.

Monday, October 16, 2006

I feel old

I just read an article about FireFox 3.0 on Ars Technica that has the following quote:

"One interesting request appears near the end of the list: the wish for Firefox to be the "fastest browser on the market," even in low-memory configurations such as PCs with only 256 MB of RAM."

For me, a low-memory system has about 32 MB of RAM. I feel old.

Monday, October 02, 2006

The Internet is a scary place

Warning: do not show this video to someone who is computer illiterate. They might never dare use the computer again.

Computer being infected with metric fuckton of malware, set to opera music (YouTube)

Thanks to McAfee for giving me something to scare my mother with. >:)

More fun (or horrifying, depending on your POV) videos if you search for windows spyware on YouTube.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Rule #1: Spammers are stupid

A post on the Sunbelt Blog caught my attention today: Spammer guy gets $11 mill judgement against Spamhaus, no one cares. That's more interesting than the title will make it seem - spammers rarely (if ever) win anything in court. So what made this one win? Intelligence? Legitimacy?

There are several unwritten rules about spammers, that most people in IT can tell you. The first one is the title of this blog post: Spammers are stupid. Face it: sending millions of people email messages they don't even want in the first place, selling stuff that doesn't work or doesn't even exist, hardly sounds like a good business model. I admit that there are spammer success stories on news sites sometimes, about a spammer who made millions, against all odds, while staying reasonably morally correct ('I never send adult-oriented bulk email. That's just wrong. What if children see it?'). What you don't read on those sites, are the thousands of stories of spammers who don't make a dime with their 'business'. Sure, there may be a handful of experienced spammers who make a few hundred bucks a month and can afford a second car, but even if they run a profit they'll stay under the radar, since spamming is becoming more and more illegal by virtue of some reasonably effective laws in a handful of states in America.

Yes, I know that I said 'few hundred bucks a month' while I mentioned success stories earlier about spammers making millions. I did this for a reason, which brings us to the second rule about spammers, as well as taking us back to the original story: Spammers lie.

The lawsuit mentioned at the beginning of this post is about a spammer called David Linhardt, who is particularly whiny and stupid. After Spamhaus blacklisted his spam-spewing domains a few times, he sued them under Illinois law - and he won $11 million by default judgment, since Spamhaus wasn't there to defend itself.

You want to know why? Because Spamhaus is located in the UK. Where US law does not apply. Linhardt may be happy about the ruling, but he won't be able to collect a dime from Spamhaus unless he files the same suit in UK court, and wins. The same goes for the removal of his domains from the ROKSO list (a blacklist with the 200 worst spammers in the world). All this is about as likely as the Earth reversing its rotation at this very moment. Because Linhardt is stupid, and lied to the judge in Illinios by saying that Spamhaus did business in Illinois and therefore fell within Illinois jurisdiction. Yep, he lied in US court. I told you spammers are stupid.

This is Darwinism at its finest. At one point this Linhardt douchebag will pick up a gun, load it, aim for his foot - and shoot himself in the nads.

Read all the articles for yourself:
CNet: Spam fighter hit with $11.7 million judgement.
Slashdot: Spamhaus Ignores $11.7M Judgement
Spamhaus: The offending ROKSO record on Linhardt (this includes several of the hilarious complaint emails Linhardt sent in response to his spam being blocked)
Spamhaus: Legal answer to David Linhardt

Oct 9 update: Uh oh. The e360insight wants the judge to order ICANN to take down the spamhaus.org domain. And since ICANN is located in the US, this could get ugly.

Oct 12 update: Well, it could have. ICANN refuses to take down the domain, saying it can't - only the domain registrar can! Who that is? It's Tucows. And guess where they are located: Canada. Where US law doesn't apply. ZING!

Oct 20 update: Phew - it looked like the judge was going to pull the domain anyway since ICANN was responsible for it, but he did not want to 'impose a sanction that does not correspond to the gravity of the offending conduct'. Also, it seems SpamHaus now has wised up and is now represented by Jenner & Block.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Beginner's Guide to Miranda Instant Messager

This post is about the multi-IM client Miranda. This is a very light-weight instant messaging client that can connect to a multitude of networks, offering a lot of features by means of plugins (think FireFox and its Extensions). I've been using it for a few years now and I am very satisfied with it. The amount of different plugins can be overwhelming for a new user, so I've decided to put together a little guide on the essentials.

Default Miranda interface

First off, get the bare client straight off the download page. And when I say bare, I don't really mean that: it includes the Miranda client itself, and plugins to get online with AIM, ICQ, MSN, IRC, Jabber/GoogleTalk and Yahoo. (A note on GoogleTalk on Miranda.) It also has a plugin to import contacts and history from ICQ. It should look something like the screenshot to the right when you first run it (though probably with more contacts in less groups). Skip ahead to the bottom of this post to see what my contact list looked like after everything was installed and configured.

The Options dialog is very, very complete - especially when you enable 'Show expert options'. You'll want to start at the Networks section, to fill out your account details for all IM networks you have an account on. The 'Status' menu in the main window allows you to set the status for each IM protocol independently, or all at once.

Now I know you're going to ask yourself: 'Is this it? A completely boring contact list with some icons?' and I know it looks pretty bland like this. Luckily, we can fix that! There are plugins for nearly everything you're used to in the regular IM clients. Installing plugins is really easy: you just grab it off the Addons page, unzip it, drop the dll (or two) in the 'Plugins' folder and restart Miranda. It loads right away and if it has options, it'll add a section to the Options dialog. Occasionally a plugin has a separate dll for icons, a smiley pack or documentation, which you can drop in folders 'Icons', 'Smileys' and 'Docs', respectively. Usually the Readme file included in the zip is helpful as well.
If adding a new plugin causes Miranda to start crashing, look for a Unicode version of the plugin (Windows 9x/ME uses ANSI versions, Windows 2000/XP and newer use Unicode versions) or a newer version. If both fail, hop on the Miranda forums, find the discussion thread for the crashing plugin and start reading. Most likely someone has the same problem and posted a solution or a workaround.

Modern Contact List (aka clist_modern)


This is the most dramatic change to your contact list that you will see. Download the Modern Contact List plugin to enable skins on your contact list, user avatars and other fun things. The default skin is pretty snazzy, and you can get even prettier ones from the Miranda website. Customizing an installed skin isn't that hard (Options > Customize > Skin), though you'll probably screw up once or twice trying to figure out what everything does (like me), so make a backup of your database first.

Other plugins that go with clist_modern nicely:
  • Loadavatars and Fingerprint
    Avatar Service (aka Loadavatars)
    This is a general avatar service to complement Miranda's own, which can be used by other plugins. By itself, it makes sure all your contacts' avatars are current and displayed on your contact list.
  • Fingerprint
    This plugin detects what IM client your contacts are using, as well as the client's version. Very cool. This goes together very well with mToolTip, described below.
  • Icon Library Manager (aka icolib)
    Another 'core' plugin that allows you to customize icons for pretty much everything.

tabSRMM


tabSRMM

The standard layout for the sending and receiving messages module (SRMM) is probably what you are used to: one window for each conversation or contact. If you have a lot of conversations at the same time (or just keep them open, like me), this will produce a lot of windows and clutter things up. The Tabbed SRMM plugin groups all conversations in one window, using tabs (again, think FireFox). The keyboard shortcut 'Esc' to close a conversation tab is especially great.

mToolTip


mToolTip

This one is not available on the Miranda website itself, but it's great: it creates a bubble tooltip with useful information when you hover the mouse cursor over someone in your contact list. The plugin itself is just the engine, so it still needs settings to create the tooltip content. It's a bit complex, but well worth the effort: get a mToolTip template from the Miranda website, then get the Database Editor++ to load the .ini file from the template. Detailed instructions on doing this are in the Readme file for the mToolTip preset.

Popup Plus


Popup Plus

Miss the popups that MSN Messenger creates on events like receiving a new email, getting an IM, seeing someone come online? Well, no fear: the Popup Plus plugin is here to save you. It will even notify you of people typing their first message to you (before the conversation window has opened), which is useful as well as good fun ('hey, how'd you know I was going to ask you something?').
This also alerts of you of new email on the protocols that support it.
Popup Plus email notification


SmileyAdd


SmileyAdd

I bet you REALLY miss this in conversations, huh? Well, just get the SmileyAdd plugin and all smileys you type or receive in messages will be converted to pictures. You can select to have each protocol use its own smiley pack, or have all use the same basic one. The only drawback is that MSN Messenger's custom smileys are not supported. (The MSN plugin itself seems to support them from Miranda 0.6.6 and up.)
SmileyAdd
For the MSN protocol, I'm using a smiley pack with the exact same smileys that MSN Messenger has, but unfortunately it's no longer available from the Miranda website: here it is.

Updater


Since Miranda is an open source project, updates will happen often. Very often. The Updater plugin can keep track of this, and if you put it on the most sensitive setting, don't be surprised when you get updates to some plugins several times per day. Put back the 'Update on .. change' setting a notch and you should be fine. The only thing it won't alert you to is new versions of the Miranda core engine itself - so you'll have to check for this periodically. I subscribed to the Miranda blog myself to keep an eye on this.

History++ 2in1


History++

To keep track of your messaging history, there is a default (embedded) plugin that logs all messages. This default is not very good, though - you can't see more than one message at a time and it's 'find' function can be a bit... dyslexic. The History++ plugin has a lot better features and gives you a much better overview. It tracks conversations as well.

Weather


Weather

Very useful if you want to know it the weather's going to be any good this week. It acts as a special protocol plugin, so you can add weather stations all over the world as contacts in your list, then group them together.

MyDetails


MyDetails

MSN Messenger has a frame at the top that shows your current avatar picture, your nick and your status. If you get the MyDetails plugin, Miranda can have this too! The plugin is still in developmental alpha stage, but it works very good. A bit of tweaking with the settings and you'll have it look very much like MSN Messenger. And this plugin works for all the other protocols as well! If they support avatars, you'll see them in the frame as well.

Final result


After I finished installing everything, tweaking my settings and got everything working, my contact list looks like the lower right picture. You can see the progress nicely when I install additional plugins.
Default layout
Default layout
Modern Contact List
Modern Contact List
  
Fingerprint
Fingerprint + Loadavatars
MyDetails
MyDetails


UPDATE: Since the implementation of the MSNP11 protocol for MSN, developers are starting to add features from the new MSN clients to Miranda. Nudge and ListeningTo (alpha stage) are among these. If you have Miranda 0.6 PR 2 or newer, you can add the 'listening to' information to the mTooltip settings. (You won't need the ListeningTo plugin for this.)

Add this to your mTooltip.ini:
[ListeningTo]
DBSub=MSN
DBSet=ListeningTo


Then add this somewhere in the MSN mTooltip setting (Options > mToolTip > Advanced > MSN) to show the info, if it is set by a contact:
%%Media: <b>(8) %user_ListeningTo|%%%%|</b>

ANOTHER UPDATE: Miranda 0.6.6 (in rapid succession to 0.6.5 and 0.6.4) was just released, and if you upgrade from 0.6.3 or earlier you'll find that Miranda can't find your profile anymore. You need to move the profile.dat file, see this thread on the Miranda forums.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

We have a crisis! The perpetuum mobile has been invented!

The title of this post refers to the crucial words of one of the members of the 'Topmost Ten' in a Oliver B. Bumble comic by Marten Toonder. These Topmost Ten people were the richest people in the world, owning everything. They lead a horrible life of paranoia since they can only lose their possessions and gain no more. The story details of Bumble acquiring a certain machine from a woodland friend, which he claims has a wheel that turns forever, powered by nothing.
Understandably, the Topmost Ten immediately declare defcon 1 because this perpetuum mobile, when made public, will instantly turn all other fuel resources useless and without value. The story is great.

So, what about it? It's just a story, the perpetuum mobile does not exist. Not only that, it's a physical impossibility that would destroy the world if invented. (Because every machine produces heat, and a machine that produces heat from nothing will eventually cook the world.)
Well, there is this company, you might have heard of it. They're located in Ireland and are called Steorn. The first time anyone heard of them was when they put forward a promotional video, which was posted on BoingBoing. While the video is riddled with marketspeak, vague claims and snakeoil, it also describes a technique they invented that providesd 'free energy'. In other words, it produced more energy than it required for operation. They claim to have reached fuel efficiencies of 285%. Yes, they claim to have invented the perpetuum mobile.

So how does it work? Well, they won't tell. The promotional video just babbles vaguely about meticulously arranged magnets. On their website, they're inviting people to sign up for a chance to test their technology for flaws, but a recent article in the UK Guardian says that scientists who signed up didn't receive squat because Steorn is so afraid to lose the intellectuel property rights to their revolutionary technology. The whole thing is being compared to two scientists (Pons and Fleischmann) who claimed to have cracked the mystery of cold fusion back in 1989: a lot of claims and promises to change the world, but no actual proof.

Could Steorn be serious? The physicist in me says 'no' without a moment's hesitation. The perpetuum mobile is physically impossible in this universe. On the other hand, Steorn put a lot of money into a full-page ad in the Economist. They openly challenge scientists to come and prove them wrong. But the sentimentalist in me can't convince the physicist.

Plus, Marten Toonder is right: a perpetuum mobile would wreck the world's economy.

Quick note rollup on Intel Centrino wireless vulnerability

(This post sponsored by the F-Secure blog :P)

Just a list of quick notes about the recent problems with Intel Centrino's wireless network card drivers:

  • Aug 2: Very very bad bugs were found in certain Intel-based systems with wireless network cards. Basically, if you have a laptop (any platform, even Mac) with an Intel Centrino wireless network card, it can be rooted removely by someone within range of the wireless network. F-Secure blog post. The post includes a link to a demonstration video.
  • Aug 2: Luckily, Intel was notified beforehand and released an update about the same time. F-Secure blog post. The 'update' was 130MB, which was a bit large for a driver update.
  • Aug 3: The update was buggy. Driver incompatibilities. The enormous size was because of bundling 32-bit and 64-bit drivers as wel as some Intel network tools in one package. F-Secure blog post.
  • Aug 14: Concerned by user feedback, Intel split the download into two packages, as well as a driver-only download. F-Secure has the scoop.
  • Aug 21: One of the programs in the update packgage is insanely buggy, eating up memory and CPU at alarming paces. Killing the process has no adverse effect if you let Windows XP handle the configuration. F-Secure.
  • Aug 24: Intel finally releases an updated version of the update package that fixes all the bugs. The End.
So...

Did you patch if you were vulnerable?

Did you re-patch if you didn't have the latest version already?